The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
