There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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