So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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