Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
