She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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