see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
