You can't motorboat a personality
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my being single is dangerous.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
