Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
