Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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