soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
