I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
