I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
what day is it and did you see me today?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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