matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think your dad took our porno
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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