at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
