he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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