Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm like, not good at living.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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