people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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