just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
