At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
