nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
