return my video game
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
