She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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