garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
