Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
