Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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