hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
