I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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