please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Mom said you looked used
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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