How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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