There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
my being single is dangerous.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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