The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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