Sacagawea was the original milf.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
