I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
