If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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