respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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