i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
