The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Please don't give away my fajitas
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
