Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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