So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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