That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
3pm strippers are depressing
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
