his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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