Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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