He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
