I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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