Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
