This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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