Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
