ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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