i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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