Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
