I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
