i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
