Pants 0. Shit 1.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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